Maynooth University PME Guided Reflection 3

You might be wondering where journal number 2 is. Long story short, journal 2 details an incident in school which involves a student so I cannot post about it.

However, you will be thankful to know that the journal prompts for journal three as the same as the journal prompts for number two!

Prompts for Maynooth University’s Journal 3:

Chose and identify a theme/value/image/quote that you feel captures your experiences over the last few weeks (since your first journal entry). Think of the theme/value/image/quote as the ‘hook’ that holds your reflection together. See the note below for definitions of these key concepts. Once you have chosen your theme/value/image/quote, consider:  

• What key moments over the past few weeks have contributed most to the emergence of the theme/value/image/quote? 
  • During Placement 
  • During University Inputs 
• What new lessons are you learning about yourself? (e.g., strengths, weaknesses, new interests, new emotions)? 
• How are the strategies and actions identified in Journal 2 working? What adjustments might you make in their execution? 
• What new actions, strategies or changes in behaviour do you anticipate bringing forth next? Why have you chosen those? What do you hope they will accomplish? 

Answers for Prompts

Chosen quote: “Stay committed to your decision but stay flexible in your approach”. 

During Placement 

My placement experience overall but more so in the last number of weeks has been difficult in different ways. One factor which has contributed to my placement experience, as outlined in journal one, is my autoimmune condition. My health journey has been a rocky road which has had a direct impact on what I can do in my daily life.  

Over the past two months alone, I have changed to a new medication as the previous one had stopped working during last summer, my inflammatory markers have doubled which warranted another new medication to create what is known as ‘combination immunosuppression therapy’, and I have been diagnosed with another autoimmune condition. These elements come with their own set of side effects on the body, such as chronic fatigue, chronic pain, brain fog, medication side effects, etc., which have affected my ability to function during placement.  

Particularly from November onwards, my placement performance declined. I found to wake up and get through the day I would have to immediately arrive home from placement and sleep for several hours before getting up to eat, shortly followed by going back to sleep. I think it is very important to note here that this is not functioning. Just to be able to walk through the school and into a class I had to spend more hours asleep than awake. This did not allow me to plan classes adequately or to what I would deem an acceptable standard. I knew I was struggling immensely at the time (and currently), however I have also made a decision to finish the PME course (including placement) and I was and am staying committed to that decision. Therefore, I had to change my approach to coping with placement demands with chronic conditions. To do so, I had to drop a class. I have more classes to teach in school than the PME placement requires. I took two first year classes on to facilitate my thesis. While not trying to paint every student with one brush, one of these groups was extremely disruptive, rude, vulgar, difficult to engage with despite numerous strategies to rectify behaviour that was taken. This class required a lot more energy than necessary or than I had to give. As result, at the end of semester one I approached the deputy principal and handed the class back over to their main teacher.  I have not necessarily felt the effects of giving back the class due to COVID-19 school closures, I know once schools reopen, I will have more time and energy to devote to other classes within the little window of energy I can give. 

Additionally, having the Christmas break and the schools closed for extra days allowed me to adequately complete and my unit of learning plans to a good standard for the majority of classes for the rest of the term. Having detailed unit of learning plans allows me to be a lot more flexible with my time after school to take the extra rest needed to function. During my experience on placement over the last number of weeks, I found I felt extremely overwhelmed, discouraged, incompetent, and utterly exhausted. The ULPs I have written are so detailed that planning for the next day or several days should take very little time or effort which furthermore lends time to what I need to do for my health. 

In terms of the discussion concerning placement in journal two, there is no development on that situation discussed. The student is removed from my class and I do not come into contact with the student under any other setting in school. With regards to the lesson of making sure I am safe before my student is safe, there have been no other situations arisen that has warranted similar action or caution and I therefore consider my approach to student wellbeing and individual safety since is working and there are no further updates. 

During University 

As stated above, I have made my decision to finish my PME while dealing with actively flaring autoimmune conditions and while I try to be as flexible as I can with placement where possible, I am not the only one who can provide flexibility to completing the PME. The university can also provide a tremendous amount of flexibility to help me achieve my goals and finish my degree to a standard I deem adequate.  

My experience with university requirements has been somewhat smoother than placement. I definitely find university to be less intense this year than last year. I am very grateful for this. I also find, similar to last year, the university to be very accommodating when it comes to my illnesses. While I have not yet used any extensions, I know it is a strong possibility with the end of term reflective essay and thesis due date fast approaching. 

Additionally, through engagements with my placement tutor, I know my tutor was also very supportive and helpful when it came to approaching placement difficulties with excess classes, difficult students, and difficult colleagues. In terms of the excess number of classes and difficult students, he was more than willing to step in a little and support the situation. While I declined the support in this situation, I also aware it is there if I need it which in turn gives me more flexibility with placement demands. 

Overall, I am coming to terms with the chronic aspects of my diseases and how that impacts my life. Indeed, completing an intense master program while at the beginning of my diagnosis was never going to run smoothly. I am only now experiencing that healing is not a linear process and if I get to a point where I am in remission, it is never going to be symptom free. I am learning how I need to balance this master program with chronic illness and to be flexible with my ability in every aspect. Flexibility is very important if I want to sustain education (placement and university) and even a full-time job in the future because disease behaviour is always unpredictable. Listening to my body’s needs and accepting them is what will allow me to continue with my education and life goals. 

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